an open letter to those considering abortion

Dear precious woman,

Let me first be clear in saying I have never been in your shoes.

BUT, I'm writing this because I've been on what you might call the other side of it...  I have been the one to receive the child who didn't get aborted, the child whose mother decided to keep and place for adoption out of love and selflessness.

Before you click out of this, stay with me, please.

First, here's a little of our daughter's birth mom's story, written by her specifically for you:

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When I got pregnant it was a shock, a life and mind altering shock.  I wasn't ready for a kid... I was fresh out of community college living with my parents, working at McDonald's.  I didn't need a kid and at that point in my life I couldn't afford one.  So when I found out I was pregnant it hit me like a ton of rocks, the ground shifted underneath me and I couldn't recognize where to stand or walk anymore. When I found out I was pregnant I was truly afraid. What was I gonna do with a baby? What was I gonna do when it was no longer about just me but US? I was growing a human being inside of me. She didn't ask to be here. She didn't ask to be conceived. But she was here now.  What was I gonna do? I had a few options. I was young, I didn't want a kid at that point and I wasn't ready to give it all up and worry about child support or diapers or childcare. I could keep it and struggle and have to watch my kid watch me grow up, I could abort while it was still new and fresh and unattached or I could grow this child and carry her through full term and place my first born for adoption.  Abortion never quite fully bloomed in my mind.  I laid down and made this child.  It was a gift and a lesson all rolled into one.  People were in my ear every step of the way with options I could take.  The baby's father wasn't around.  I decided to not abort and place her for adoption.  The decision I made was the best one for the life I brought into this world.  And I was blessed by it.  I had a beautiful baby girl who to this day takes my breath away. I have options to go back to school.  Live my life better.  Start over, in a way.  I can live with knowing the child that I conceived is alive and breathing and is being loved with unconditional love.  She has a mommy and a daddy and doesn't have to fight for someone to love her or see her on the weekends or pay for diapers or pay attention to her.  And I am forever blessed with my decision.  I love my daughter, but I also get to live a life worthy of her.  She will always have my heart and I will always have a child. 

Sincerely, 

A Birth Mother

~

This is just one story.  There are a lot more out there.

And maybe your story is nothing like this.  Maybe your pregnancy is a result of rape, something you didn't choose.  Maybe it's the result of something absolutely horrifying and you want nothing more than to do away with anything or anyone who would remind you of it.  Maybe your unborn baby has severe health risks.  Whatever your case, even though I can't possibly grasp all that you're feeling right now, know that my heart goes out to you.  Know that I'm praying for you.  You can pray for people even when you don't know their names.  That's one of many amazing things about God.  He knows YOU, your name, and the magnitude of every emotion you are feeling right now in very depths of your soul.  He designed you and knows the deepest depths of the pain or the highest heights of joy you feel.  And so, He knows when I pray for all the precious and hurting women who in this very moment are considering aborting their baby that I'm praying for you, YOU who He knew even before your first heartbeat.

You have likely come to this crossroads out of hopelessness.  Perhaps our daughter's birth mom's story above offered you some hope.  I'd like to paint you another picture of hope from our side of it...

In the fall of 2015 on a typical Thursday of work and living life, we got a call from our adoption lawyer saying there was a two-week old baby girl who needed a family.  We arrived to his office to meet our new daughter.  In a matter of moments we began to fall in love with this tiny baby who would be forever ours.  I can't fully describe all the emotions we felt that day, but the prime one was joy.  Here we are a little over a year later, and there is a box by our Christmas tree with a new play kitchen in it waiting for an excited little girl to open it up on Christmas morning.  A little girl who we could not imagine our lives without and who has blessed us more than we could have ever dreamed.  I don't even want to entertain the thought of how different life would be had our daughter's life ended before she was even born.

I say this humbly while being fully aware that the day we got our daughter was not all roses for everyone.  That day for her birth mother was heart-wrenching.  I'm sure every moment was painful.  Difficult probably doesn't begin to describe it.  I am aware that whether you decide to abort or keep your baby and become a mom or place your baby for adoption, pain awaits you no matter what.

But here's what I know for certain.

I know that our daughter's birth mother has never once regretted letting her live.  I know that seeing her daughter loved and cared for makes her heart happy and she is thankful for her decision.  I know this because we have a relationship with her.  She is one of the most special people in our lives.  We look at her and see courage and goodness and a loving heart.  We see what she has overcome.  We see someone who gave us the greatest gift we could ever hope for.

God already sees your courage.  But just imagine if this Christmas you gave someone the gift of a child, or at least the knowing they'll be receiving a child in a few months.  Imagine God turning your tears of pain into tears of hope and joy when you see Him use something that was once hopeless to you for something so absolutely good and wonderful.  God used a birth mother's story of hope and redemption to give my family a story of hope and redemption.

I'm praying your story will be a story of hope.  A story of pain that is worthy as it blooms into something beautiful.  A story of strength, courage, and redemption.

I pray you choose life.


Sincerely,

Jenn