auntie thoughts

First, I just want to say thank you for such an overwhelming response to my last post.  The countless messages and verbal encouragement you've given us... We are blessed to have many surrounding us who are genuinely supportive and excited for us.  I will try my best to keep you somewhat up to date through the blog as we progress in the adoption process.

L to R:  Jacob, Joshua, (me), Grace, Hannah

For a couple days over my spring break I was able to steal away and finally meet my new niece, Hannah.  After a brief moment of shyness in the beginning, she was soon playing with me on the floor with the others, and as you can see above, reading with us on the couch.

Grace and Hannah 

(One thing I learned about Hannah immediately - she loves the camera!)

While my time with her was too brief, I enjoyed watching and learning about her.  She is a passionate, curious, pint-sized cutie who loves playing with her brothers and sister.

The most difficult thing about living far away from my family is that I'm not able to be a very involved aunt to my brother's children.  I grew up really close to all my aunts and saw them frequently.  I felt I had a special bond with each of them, and I just want the same for us.  I love my life here, but there is always an ache in my heart for them.  I have a fear that one day they won't want much to do with me or that I'll feel very disconnected from them.  I realize it's a somewhat silly fear.  My mother gently reminded me that since I do live far away, my time with them is probably even more special in their eyes, as opposed to if I saw them all the time.  Good point.  Still hard.

I will say, they certainly made me feel special in my short visit.  My loving little Joshua was in my lap or cuddling next to me the whole time I played with them.  A usually shy Grace latched on to me at Jacob's basketball game and never left my lap.  And Jacob told my brother he hoped he would make a shot for me to see at the game (and he DID!!).  It might seem corny to say it this way, but I felt like God was giving me a big hug that day through my nieces and nephews and reminding me that He does not forget the desires of my heart or the things that bring me joy.

He is my caring and compassionate God who notices my tears and orchestrates moments to show me I am loved by Him.

So for that I say thank You, God.  I do not deserve Your goodness.  I am grateful to be Your child.