Most people want people to like them. Especially women. I used to be this person. If someone didn't like me for no good reason at all, it drove me nuts. Maybe they somehow got the wrong impression or whatever. Recently I dealt with this with someone I saw on a pretty regular basis. Last week was the climax, however, as this person said some pretty crazy stuff to me. Stuff that was just wrong and hurtful. He accused me of being someone I'm just not. And I don't mean one little thing. I mean he has the essence of who I am completely wrong. When I read his email (his confrontation method of choice), I literally almost had to laugh it was so ridiculous. Yes, I have since tried calmly and kindly defending myself. While the issue is (mostly) resolved for now, I could tell I never really got through to him, that he was going to feel that way regardless of what I said or did.
Sometimes it truly doesn't matter what you say or do... somebody just won't like you. That's when you realize - it's not about you. It's about them. It's about something inside of them that's troubled or threatened or simply not right. This being the case, there's nothing I can do to help the situation. This used to make me feel helpless, hopeless, and flat-out annoyed.
I finally realized there was no need to feel that way. It's out of my hands, and that's a good thing. Only God can change this person's heart. And I can pray for him. I can pray and in the meantime, be patient and not allow myself to be negatively affected by his words. When you realize this and truly do it, it lifts such a burden from you, and God replaces that burden with peace.
Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:44
I admittedly have for some reason never really cared if someone likes me...I don't know if thats a good or bad thing! But I always just thought that if someone didn't like me, I probably didn't like them either ;)
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