A good decision

For some reason yesterday I randomly thought of a sad situation I experienced in eighth grade, but the thought of the fact that I didn't allow it to affect me made me smile...

Allow me to back up further. I was a cheerleader through pretty much all of elementary and middle school. In eight grade, as tryouts were approaching for the high school squads, I thought extensively about whether or not to continue cheering and finally decided not to try out. Was it because I didn't like cheering? No, I LOVED it! I loved tumbling, climbing, challenging my body, improving my skills, working as a team, hanging out with friends... But the things that I didn't like made it not worth it anymore.

In elementary school, cheering was fun and more laid back. In middle school it became more of a competition, and not just between different squads, but individually. It also became life-consuming. If you cheered, you didn't really have time for anything else other than school. It also became more expensive, which my parents never complained about openly, but I was smart enough to know that the money could be put to good use elsewhere. And most significantly, cheering became a popularity factor and a negative influence. I'm thankful God gave me the discernment to not be blind to all it had become.

So the situation I recalled happened in my eighth grade science class and I won't mention the teacher's name. She approached me during class (I remember it as if it were yesterday) and said, "Jennifer, I have a bone to pick with you." I racked my brain thinking, 'What could I have possibly done? My grades are great, I think I've turned everything in that I've needed to...??' She continued and said, "I heard you aren't trying out for cheerleading again. Is that true?"

I said, "Yes," and when she asked why, I responded somewhat vaguely and concisely, knowing she probably wouldn't understand or support all the reasons as she was a big fan of cheering herself. I so vividly remember what she said next.

"Well, I'm very disappointed in you."

She walked away and I was quite dumbfounded. Did this supposed mature adult and role model actually just say that to me? I think I remember this scene so clearly because it was a pivotal moment in my life. It was a moment that I took what she said and shrugged it off (don't get me wrong - it did sting a bit at first) and I did not allow her to change my mind or regret or question my decision. It was a moment where, in spite of the fact that all my closest friends were trying out again, that everyone at school tried their hand at persuading me to keep cheering, I clung to what I knew to be true - that this was not what God had for me over the next four years. Sometimes I wonder how different my high school years would have been had I succumbed to the pressure.

What DID happen is I spent my high school years able to focus on other things. I joined a creative ministry team we called "Lightly Salted" (based on Matt. 5:13). We practiced after school and would perform at churches once or twice a month. On days I didn't have this, I would get to go home right after school and do homework, or take a nap, or both! I actually had time for both! I also was very involved in FCA and developed some close, amazing, godly friends, many of whom are still very special to me to this day. Without a doubt, those years helped mold me into who I am today.

I am NOT AT ALL trying to promote that cheering is bad. Under my specific circumstances, it just wasn't for me and wasn't going to help me become the person I knew I needed to be.

And to my dear, sad science teacher, if you're out there somewhere... God told me He is not disappointed in me, but that He DELIGHTS in me.