my last day in my twenties

I'll admit that approaching this birthday I have had mixed feelings.  Most of them have been negative.    What is it about thirty that's hard to swallow?  As my husband says, it's just a number.

I decided today that the struggle with this whole turning-thirty thing is a good thing, because it makes you look good and hard at some things, and maybe make some decisions out of it.  Like to stop fretting about some particular things and start savoring certain things.  To spend your free time more intentionally.  To buckle down and finally begin to change some things you've been putting off, for Pete's sake.  To somehow take life a little more seriously but more lightly at the same time.

Leading up to this day, Luke and I discussed many different ideas for how I would spend this weekend.  I wanted to take a trip, but spending the money wouldn't be wise.  I thought maybe we should do something special and grand.  After all, you only turn thirty once, so they say.  Today I went to lunch and a movie with girlfriends, tonight we're all doing dinner, and tomorrow I'm spending time with Luke.  Nothing too out of the ordinary or spectacular.  But I realized, ya know, that it's just another day.  Another day to live and to stop for a moment in the middle of lunch with friends and soak it all in.  Whether it's my birthday or not, I probably won't remember what I did forty years from now.  But I'll remember how I felt.  I'll remember what the Spirit whispered to my heart today.  I'll remember feeling loved.